Okay I am not expecting at this time. However, I do have a two year old, and a number of people around me that are expecting their first child.
Many first time parents go through the excitement of being parents only to come crashing down into the panic of “I can’t do this”, “How am I supposed to do this”, “I am going to be a horrible parent”, and so many other negative thoughts because of the expectations to be a perfect parent.
While some people just aren’t cut out to be parents most of us will do just fine.
The biggest piece of advice I can give any person, who has an ounce of common sense and ability to reason, is trust yourself. You will know what to do, and guess what if you don’t ask someone, there are so many people who are willing to share their opinions that sometimes you won’t even have to ask. Asking however, takes the desire to share an opinion into a different space making it feel less judgy.
A lot of these feelings come to light even before the child is born. There are so many things that you are preparing. A room, getting the safety equipment, etc. Changes are numerous in your body as well. The feelings of being overwhelmed are normal. Take a breath.
Nothing needs to happen immediately. You have plenty of time to worry, stress, and freak out over decisions that your child will make as they grow up and to reflect on what you might have done better. Though I don’t necessarily recommend that type of reflection.
Enjoy the experience, not everyone is able to have it. Share it with friends and family. Make new friends. Sign up for support groups if you are doing this on your own. There are so many options and opportunities for support out there now, and people just waiting to step in to help, not take over, but truly help.
But most of all…trust your instincts. You will make mistakes, it happens to even supermom. I bet if you asked the person you think is supermom they would tell you many many stories of mistakes they made, things they would do differently and they would very likely tell you to relax. Being a parent doesn’t come with a set of instructions, much is instinct, and the rest is trial and error based on what you experienced growing up or have seen growing up.
You are about to embark on an epic journey! Be present, patient and enjoy the ride!
The Adams-Schlag Family 