Hard Decisions

I can’t catch my breath,

My best friend is leaving.

I can’t find me feet,

My partner is losing the fight.

I can’t stop the tears,

Their father is dying.

Overwhelmed, yes, absolutely

Not able to cope, that is not true

My coping might be different from yours,

I might have gone past where you are in grief

Don’t mistake my talking about the end as wanting things to be over

I am a planner and practical and know what is coming.

I hold out the sliver of hope that things will get better

But reality doesn’t support the hope currently.

How much do we sustain life before we allow someone to pass on?

We have had the conversations, and I know.

While he might be your brother and son, please consider what he wants.

How he wants to be remembered, and not how we want him to stay

We are doing the best we can, and taking things day by day.

It’s hard not to judge or say “you should do this and that”

Dignity is the only things left to maintain.

Ask if you want to know, don’t come at me from all angles.

I am only able to share so much, but don’t need you to take over.

I will ask when I need help, you have seen it.

I know you want to help more, but there is only so much to do

Come visit, to visit, but respect that we need time with just us four, too.

Everyone wants their friend, son, father, partner, and lover to stay,

But sometimes we have to make the hard choices with them on when it’s time to go

Respect that, though it’s hard

As it’s the hardest decision partners every have to make.