New Relationships

There are so many times that I have met people who aren’t truly happy. They pretend but don’t really seem to find what they hope and search for. I am a watcher. I see strange things in relationships between those around me who seem to be in very loving relationships. So many wear the mask of love and contentment. Yet when away from others things change.

This past Three months has been a very interesting navigation of new relationships, which transitioned to one I never expected. Though I should have expected that I would find another match. But I didn’t, expect to. When you have what you believe to be perfect and lose it it’s not something you expect to find again or at least not as deep.

As we get older finding new life partners seem to both become harder and sometimes easier. We know more about what we want and possibly need, if we’ve been paying attention, and learning from what came before. I did. I had a wonderful magical partner and life. I was happy and content. We had kids and made a happy home. I believe we aren’t given challenges to overcome in life we can’t handle. Now I grant to you that sometimes things are sent to us we aren’t meant to overcome. That are meant to define our finish, and sometimes those things royally suck and take important people from us long before we are ready to have them leave.

However, those of us that remain need to find the strength and power to go on and thrive. This brings me back to my point of finding more connections in a romantic way. Regardless of what came before. So many people believe that we only have one person who is meant to fill our soul with light and love. I don’t. How can I when I have found a second match that just might be more perfect for me at this point in my life.

Dave was perfect for me. He taught me what it meant to be valued and how to value myself. He taught me how important communicating desires needs, wants, wishes, plans, and everything in life was. We had amazing as we learned. I need you to know it wasn’t all sunshine and roses. Nothing is, ever. There will always be disagreements or points of negotiation but if you can talk about all of these things you can overcome pretty much anything.

With Dave things were generally easy but we did have challenges. I’ve come to see that while we would have been happy for a long time the threads of the universe had other plans and that the thing he had to face was the life ending kind of challenge. While outwardly I didn’t break I did. We shared that together as we lost parts of him. It allowed me to not shatter at the end. Though I did that too. I couldn’t blame him, he had no choice.

In saying goodbye to him over a longer period I got to deal with emotions with him. I won’t ever stop loving him as he was. But I also know that the universe gives us challenges to prepare us for something fantastic. Some are lucky to have one who is perfect for them throughout all of their lives. Some are so lost in this life and they miss their opportunities. And there are a small group of people who find more. For them every relationship provides something that was missing from the last. I am one of those people. Whether by choice or design I have been fortunate enough to be able to learn from each person something to take forward to the next relationship.

Until I have found what I now see as my perfect match. But this perfect match now would not have been the same 5 years ago. I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t ready 20 years ago when the universe could have chosen to connect us but didn’t. The threads were always there and have grown with every connection I have had going back to Junior High School. The threads of those I have connected with are still there, only those that have left life are dark. This new bright one is so much stronger than any of the others have been.

At no point I would not change what I had or have now found. It wasn’t expected, I wasn’t really looking,but I knew that I couldn’t settle for anything less then what I had. There are things that I have come to enjoy that I would never want to lose. There are communities I am involved in that I am always going to be a part of. Any one new would have to be okay with this. And even want to be a part of it.

Now the grand challenge of combining ideas. ways of working, up bringing and communication styles together to form a cohesive relationship. I say grand challenge because it is likely the greatest challenge we all have in life, because when we fail to communicate we lose the connection to people and the ability to have meaningful and deep relationships that fill our souls. The grand challenge to be fully present and in each moment with our CHOSEN partner until either we together determine a different path or have one forced on us by the powers that be.

I am very grateful for a chance to find another who fills my soul in ways that I didn’t realize I had been missing. But I am also grateful to all of those who filled parts along the way. None are forgotten.

Caviete: Abusive situations are NEVER okay. Love is not found through pain or hurt. You are always worth more than verbal or physical abuse.